Giving birth to a baby is a process that is exhausting and excruciatingly painful. And a pregnant woman would happily accept every ounce of help and support she can get while going into labor. The last thing she needs is somebody telling her she is “embarrassing” or calling her names while she goes through the natural but difficult process of bringing a child into the world.
One woman wrote to Reddit to share that her boyfriend recently told her that she had completely embarrassed him while she was giving birth. You know, by doing things such as screaming, looking to her midwife for comfort, and oh, several other things that most people would consider to be absolutely normal.
Although the 20-year-olds have been dating for a year, the birth of their son has brought out the ugliest parts of their relationship. As she explained in r/relationship_advice, she had a natural delivery, and unsurprisingly — it was painful.
“I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like ‘can you stop screaming, you’re really embarrassing me,'” the mom wrote.
The boyfriend could not even stand it when the young woman in labor held somebody else’s hand. The young mother added:
“When I held the midwife’s hand for comfort he whispered ‘let go of her, stop being so embarrassing.’ He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names. I’m really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most.”
What is worse is that after everything that took place, the boyfriend does not even accept ever saying those hurtful words. “When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I’m being silly…” the woman said.
While recalling other instances of his insensitive behavior, the new mother said, “He refused to go to the antenatal classes because ‘men don’t go’. I was the only person there without a partner, I felt awful.”
Although there were instances in the past where her boyfriend treated her badly, it was only after the demeaning experience she had during her birth that she realized how terrible he was to her.
“There have been other times where he has mistreated me, but nothing has shocked me as much as this. I’m beginning to look at him very differently,” the mom added.
When it comes to their baby, the boyfriend is of no help either as the mom said:
“He isn’t very helpful with baby. I do absolutely everything, he uses the excuse of he works so I should do the childcare. He does the fun stuff, but I do all the hard work.”
People in the comments agreed birth is not for wimps, which is what he seems to be.
“I literally s–t myself (a lot ?) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after,” one commenter wrote. “That is all said to assure you that your bf’s behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You’re not being silly. This is a huge red flag, and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations.”
“Child birth isn’t pretty. It’s beautiful bringing life in the world, but everything else is nope. A lot of fluids and stuffs,” someone else wrote.
“Seriously feel for OP, she should never have had to deal with that,” another commenter posted. “There’s no room for embarrassment in time because it just is what it is. It’s gross, it smells, you’re exposed, the last thing OP needed was someone pointing that out and shaming her.”