Joe Biden’s time in the White House is almost up, and let’s just say, he won’t be leaving on the high note he’d hoped for. After four long years marked by missteps, skyrocketing inflation, and border chaos, Biden is getting ready to pack his bags. He thought he’d be there until 2028, but even his own party had other plans.
The beginning of the end came in June, when Biden faced off against Donald Trump in what can only be described as the debate debacle of the century. Biden’s performance was so weak it left even his most loyal Democratic allies cringing. Realizing they couldn’t trust him to secure another term, party insiders gave him the boot.
Now, as the Bidens prepare to leave the White House, they’re gearing up for one final round of presidential traditions, including the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon. But, in true Biden fashion, even this seemingly lighthearted event has been hijacked—this time by the folks at PETA, whose flair for theatrics knows no bounds.
Gobbling Up the Spotlight
As Biden gets ready to pardon a pair of lucky turkeys on Monday, PETA has swooped in to steal the spotlight. Outside the White House, their infamous “Hell on Wheels” turkey truck is blaring the anguished cries of distressed birds and, because it’s PETA, a subliminal message to “go vegan” every 10 seconds.
The truck, decked out with images of sickly turkeys, is PETA’s latest move in their crusade to guilt America into giving up meat, dairy, and eggs. Amanda Brody, one of their spokespeople, explained the spectacle:
“It’s a life-sized turkey transportation truck covered with real images of turkeys,” she said. “We want people to listen closely and watch closely because every turkey is an individual.”
Now, you’d think a vegan PR campaign would involve, I don’t know, appealing recipes or feel-good testimonials. But no, PETA opted for traumatizing the public with a mobile horror show. Nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” like a soundtrack of tortured gobbles, right?
PETA vs. The Turkey Pardon
The truck stunt is just the latest in PETA’s war on the turkey pardon tradition, which they’ve labeled a “wretched” and “humiliating meat-industry stunt.” PETA’s president, Ingrid Newkirk, even fired off a scathing letter to Biden, demanding he cancel the event altogether. Unsurprisingly, her plea fell on deaf ears.
Undeterred, Newkirk doubled down, painting turkeys as some sort of avian saints. “Turkeys are devoted parents who purr to their chicks and express emotions through skin color changes,” she said, adding that the meat industry treats them as “unfeeling objects.”
Her solution? Abandon meat and opt for vegan roasts. It’s a nice sentiment, sure, but try pitching that to the millions of Americans counting on a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to forget, at least for one day, how much groceries now cost under Biden’s watch.
Biden’s Final Act
This PETA circus couldn’t come at a worse time for Biden. It’s bad enough he’s being forced to vacate the White House in disgrace, ousted not by voters, but by his own party after they decided he was unfit to run. Now, he’s got to do it all to the ear-piercing soundtrack of PETA’s turkey truck.
Talk about adding insult to injury.
While Biden waxes poetic about “redeeming the soul of the nation” during his farewell speeches, the rest of us can’t help but think about what his presidency really delivered: soaring inflation, unchecked illegal immigration, and an embarrassing inability to lead his own party.
The turkey pardon was supposed to be a lighthearted tradition, a final nod to presidential humor. Instead, it’s turned into a perfect metaphor for Biden’s tenure—loud, chaotic, and just a little sad.
As PETA’s gobbles echo through Washington, it’s clear this Thanksgiving will be a memorable one, at least for Joe Biden. For the rest of us, we can be thankful this presidency is finally nearing its end. And as for the turkeys? They can thank Biden’s exit for one last hurrah before Donald Trump’s triumphant return.
Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.
