Well, it’s perfectly normal to feel protective of your loved ones, that’s a natural thing. The thing to watch out for is feeling or acting over-protective. Just like this worried mother who reached out and asked fellow parents for their advice on her daughter asking to sleep over at her boyfriend’s house.
Mumsnet is a great place for parents to share their concerns, and worries and ask for advice and because of it, a British mother turned to Mumsnet, a well-known online community for mothers because she was concerned about her fifteen-year-old daughter who requested a sleepover with her boyfriend. The mother was struggling with whether or not she should allow it. As the boyfriend was having a birthday party over the weekend and wanted his girlfriend to spend the night, but the mother was uncomfortable with the idea. However, little did the mother know that her post on Mumsnet would spark a heated debate among other parents.
Many people on Mumsnet warned the mother that her decision could cause irreparable damage to her relationship with her daughter with some even claiming that the mother’s strict stance could “drive a wedge” between her and her teenage daughter.
The mother explained that her daughter and her boyfriend had been in an on-again-off-again relationship since middle school. She also shared that her boyfriend had been diagnosed with sepsis last year and was still struggling with the disease. The daughter had been affected by her boyfriend’s illness and was supporting him through it because she did not want to see her teenage lover struggling with a disease like that. “She is now okay, and she is supporting him,” the mom wrote.
Now, the boyfriend’s birthday was coming up, and he had invited the daughter to a small party with his family. The mother had no issue with her daughter attending the party but drew the line at the sleepover.
“It’s his birthday this weekend, and he’s invited DD to spend it with him and his family at a small party which I have no issue with… The issue is he’s asked my daughter to sleep over on Friday night, which I’ve said no to as I feel they’re still too young,” the Mother said.
The mother allow her daughter to attend the party and spend time with her boyfriend and his family, however, she did not allow her daughter to sleep over at her boyfriend’s house. Now, her daughter was “very annoyed” with the mother’s decision.
“She has said they aren’t going to have sex (which I didn’t mention) which I should ‘already know’ as he is still not 100 percent well. I don’t care about him as it’s the one thing he wants (he hasn’t asked for a present, just to see her), etc. I’m now wondering if I’m being a bit mean by saying no,” The mother said.
With that, the mother was also criticized on Mumsnet for being overprotective and too strict. As some people felt that the mother was being too strict and that her daughter should be allowed to make her own decisions.
As one person wrote, “If your daughter is going to have sex, preventing her from going to this family event is not going to make any difference.” But the mother said that she was merely concerned for her daughter’s well-being in response to the criticism.